Hello!

Who is the Anonymous Programmer?  I spent an hour searching the web for an “About Me” template that I could sanitize and/or convert into something funny.

That didn’t pan out, so I started looking for blogging advice and got the expected results:

  1. Tell your readers who you are, where you live, what you do, and why you’re so damned important; or
  2. just wing it.

Option #2, then.

The whole idea started as a venue for me to blog while remaining anonymous, thus granting me the freedom to remain candid, honest, and sincere with my readers without the burden of needing to explain “why I called my coworker a dumb-ass,” to my dumb-ass coworker (see this post).

  • I’m a web developer.
  • I’m a certified PHP programmer who knows that sometimes a procedural script is a better solution than an object-oriented approach (right tool, right job).
  • I’m a self proclaimed Javascript Mastermind (conveniently I don’t have to prove it!).  When I’m not starting from the ground up I typically employ jQuery.
  • I believe that most “Search Engine Optimization” techniques are the easiest things in the world to learn and usually follow a certain set of guidelines that any monkey could memorize.  Somewhat paradoxically, most people can’t get the hang of it.  ”SEO” is probably the simplest method of separating a fool from his money (encouraged).
  • I’m a staunch supporter/advocate of W3C standards and xHtml Validation.  I love JSLint.  When one complies with certain standards, one opens the door to cleaner, healthier, smarter, less error-prone markup (and code).
  • Despite the above statement, I have a “work smarter not harder” attitude toward programming.  I don’t like to jump through hoops when someone else has already elegantly solved my problem and posted a nice open-source solution on the interwebs.
  • I brew my own beer.